DK Episode 32 - August 12, 2020 - Duration: 26:48
Viewer Requested Video: Do relationships have an expiration date? Drawk Kwast answers.
0:00:02.4 Drawk Kwast: Waddup? So today I got something a little bit different. I had somebody send me a couple of weeks ago a question that they had via email. Which really quick on that, if you have a question or something that I can use, like ideas for new videos, you can go to my contact us page on my website or on my website where the video section is, there's a button there to get to the Contact Us page and feel free to email me questions. Just one thing, when you email me stuff like that, it's no guarantee that I'm actually gonna use it, if it's something that looks interesting and I think would make a good video, I might... And even if I do, like this email was sent to me a few weeks ago, so even the ones that I use, it takes me a while to get to them. So if you have a question, that's really, really important, I also sell consulting services on my website, so if it's something important and you definitely want an answer, that's the way to go. If you've just got an idea that you think might be good for video or a question that might make for a good video content by all means, send it as a suggestion to me.
0:01:13.7 DK: Okay, so jumping right into this one, I'm just gonna read the email that they sent me, and he didn't give me explicit permission to use his name, so I'm not gonna use his name in this for privacy, and it says, "Hey, Drawk, do romantic relationships have an expiration date? I mean is there a time limit to the passion that stays in a relationship after which it begins to die, and nothing you can do to reignite it? I ask this because we often see celebrities breaking up with each other left and right, hell, even Jeff Bezos' wife divorced him, the richest man in the world," which is a good point. "Now, I'm not comparing myself to the celebrities, but in my experience, after some time a year or so, the girl starts losing interest and nothing I would do would bring the passion back. Am I doing something wrong here? Or is it natural and I should just move on without thinking much about it, because if I'm lacking a particular skill, I would be more than glad to work on it. Answer when you can, I understand that you have a lot to juggle and a lot of things as I do to. PS, it's great that you're converting your old blog posts, to YouTube videos. There was one post that I liked the most, Guide to Hedonism, it had some major mindset change philosophy. Get that one as a video, if you can."
0:02:47.9 DK: Okay. So a couple of things to mention. One thing he talks about is, Am I doing something wrong? Or is this just natural? So the Alpha way to look at every problem is that you always take responsibility for it. So no matter what happens in your life, it's not necessarily always true, but when you act this way, you end up with more control in your life and your life tends to turn out better. So you always take responsibility and you always say at the end of the day, this was my fault somehow, how could I have changed it? Because what happens when you start thinking in terms of, it's somebody else's fault or somebody else's responsibility, then you tend to sit on your ass and be passive. And it's always better to take responsibility and attack your problems, you have a higher probability that things will go in your favor, when you look at it that way. Even though it doesn't mean 100% of the time that that's gonna be true and it's gonna work out, but it's a better assumption to start working with.
0:03:54.2 DK: Like I said, he sent this email a few weeks back, and the blog post he's talking about Guide to Hedonism, I actually did that as a video. And if you haven't already seen my last two videos, those were done specifically to help answer this guy's question. So if you haven't seen those videos, you might wanna click pause right now on this video and go back and watch the other two videos. So the last one was The Hedonist's Guide to Women, and the one before that was, Understanding Women Logical Checkpoints Versus Emotional Zones. Okay, so starting off with the Understanding Women Logical Checkpoints Versus Emotional Zones, that tells you how women make decisions. So in your question here where you're asking, What am I doing wrong, is there an expiration date? When a woman decides to leave you for whatever reason, if you understand what the reasons are that makes her leave you, then you're ahead of the game. You've got the, how, figured out. How did this happen? She left because... And if you understand that equation, that's really, really, really gonna help you.
0:05:28.9 DK: And then in the video that was after that, the one that was the previous video before this, The Hedonist's Guide to Women, that explains to you what makes them stay. Like in any relationship, a woman is only basically getting a couple of things from you. There's those two stereotypes that the women either goes for the millionaire or the billionaire, she's in it for the resources, or she's fucking the 25-year-old pool boy... Right, because she's in it for the sex. So this is a gross over-simplification here, but that covers most of it. So if you know why she's deciding to stay or leave, and you know what things you can do to make her stay, giving her intense sexual pleasure, then you're way ahead of the game on this. And there's something that should be said because people are gonna look at The Hedonist's Guide to Women, and they're gonna ask the question the other side of the coin, which is resources. Like, Well, what if you're the total Don Juan type but you're broke?
0:06:42.4 DK: So if you've been paying attention to any of my material, if you've read my books, you know that being an alpha male is... You need both legs to stand on. You have to be Don Juan and you have to have the money too. So those are the two things, and if you're a true alpha, you should have those two things in order. So the thing though is you're never gonna be able to bore a woman into liking you, so you have to have your sexual game together, meaning you have to be able to provide her that sexual pleasure, those emotions, that closeness in the relationship. If you can't provide that and what you're providing is just money, then like I said in that video, you're gonna be the one she cheats on. She's gonna go get the sweet stuff from somebody else, and that's not gonna be you. The flip of that isn't quite as harsh, if you're like the Don Juan type and you're broke, okay, that's not gonna last for very long. But if you really have your personality together and you've done enough work on yourself that you can seduce a woman, then you're probably making a certain minimum amount of money anyways, this is just kind of how it works out.
0:08:00.4 DK: Like have you ever noticed that the people that are really good sales guys are also good with women. And if you get good with women, like you start practicing talking to girls at a bar and you run a business, all of a sudden you start making more money, it's weird how that works out. So in my experience, if you know what you're doing with girls, if you've learned that, then you're probably making an okay amount of money and okay is good enough. Something to be said though, if for some reason you're the Don Juan type and you're just totally broke and you've never been able to get your shit together as far as money goes, then I need to impress this upon you, if a woman is getting the sex and the attention and everything from you, but the money, and she goes to another man to get the money, she's a prostitute. Like period, end of story. So it puts you in a really tough position if you can't meet a certain base level. And just look around you, look around in the town you live in, and just kind of say to yourself, Am I like average as far as resources go or not? If you're not at least average, then you gotta work on that too.
0:09:22.6 DK: So I've kind of been talking a little bit around in circles here, let me answer the actual question that he asked, so that's kind of the preamble to it, right. He basically wants to know if women have an expiration date. And as soon as I hear somebody ask the question, Do relationships have an expiration date, do women have an expiration date? I laugh, because I learned from Ziggy, it was actually one of Ziggy's rules. One of Ziggy's rules is, all women have an expiration date. And if you read the old blog post, Ziggy's rule's great, you know what I'm talking about? If you haven't read that blog post, it doesn't exist as a blog post anymore, maybe I'll make that one of the videos I do in the near future here. But Ziggy was a fucking pimp. Ziggy had his shit together. I mean, Ziggy had his shit together. Women, money, everything. This dude had tight game, and one of his very few rules was, women have an expiration date. So specifically, in terms of what my person here is asking from India, there are basically three expiration dates that you need to look at.
0:10:42.8 DK: The first expiration date for a woman happens at age 25, and this isn't so much like nailed down science, if you look at women's hormones as they age and things like that, you'll see that it's kind of a gray thing that seems to make sense with the anecdotal evidence out there. If you talk with guys that really, really know women that have a lot of experience with women, like if they were a pick-up artists or they taught people how to pick up girls, all of us guys like that, we all kind of know that this magical thing happens, this weirdness happens at age 25. And basically women, they come of age and they're able to have children. And in society, we don't call them an adult, like right when they hit puberty, but we say it happens like 18, 21 years old, somewhere around there. So basically, women are maturing and all of a sudden they have the ability to get pregnant, and then 16, they have the ability to drive most places, and then 18, we call them an adult, and then 21, they can drink. So it's like at age 21, that's when they really feel like they've matured, and somehow after they feel like, Okay, they're matured, which is like age 21, if you're in the US, that's like the drinking age here, right.
0:12:16.1 DK: After that, this thing kicks off in their brain and they start going, Okay, I need to get pregnant, I need to reproduce now back to basic biology, I've gotta find the most alpha guy I can, and I need to get pregnant and I need to start popping out kids. So that kind of kicks in in our society, at about age 21, maybe 22 is when it peaks. And if they don't start nailing shit down in a few years, their hormones like short circuit their brain, and by about age 25... If by age 25, they're not in a solid relationship that looks like it's going somewhere with a future, they start getting fucking weird. And one of the places I wish I had an exact reference for the quote, but Hugh Hefner, it's kind of a widely known thing that Hef dated young women. And there's this story, I'm pretty sure it's true, maybe you guys can research it and tell me down in the comments, if you find where this actually is, but there's the story where Hef is talking to some 24-year-old or 25-year-old girl or something like that, and he's of course, old as fucking dirt at this point, and he's hitting on her. And she's like, Well, I've never been with a man over 25. I've never been with someone over 25. And Hef looks back at her and says, I've never been with someone over age 25 either. Hef, who was a fucking pimp, like it goes like Hugh Hefner and fucking Ziggy, like those guys knew that something weird happened with women in age 25.
0:14:14.8 DK: And if you wanna see an example of this, I hate to pick on people specifically, but like this fucking bitch deserves it for what she put up on YouTube the other day, Tomi Lahren, Tomi spelled with an I, the girl spelling of Tomi. She's 27 years old, and this has happened to her. She's like two years into this now, and she puts up this YouTube video where it never occurs to her that the only commonality in every one of her failed fucking relationships is her. She's tried all this different stuff and she keeps on blaming all the guys, but when you look at it mathematically, the only common thread through all these fucked up relationships is her. And she just starts going off on guys, it's basically like, Well, men fuck you, because I can't find a good one. And it never occurs to her that she might be the problem and she might be the weirdo. You can look up that rant, it's like a 14-minute video clip yourself. And it kind of starts off in the first few seconds like, Okay, this isn't too bad and by the end of it, you're sitting there and you're going, Okay, well, that's great that you got what you want in life. But guys don't value that, we value people that we can be affectionate and playful with and have a good time, and your personality now is fucking appalling bitch.
0:15:43.8 DK: Like quality guys run from shit like that, they don't wanna be anywhere around it because it's like cuddling a cactus why would you want that in your life? So there are exceptions to every rule and all that stuff, and you never say 100% of women, but experience has taught the guys that really know what they're talking about, that this magical fuck up happens at about age 25. So if you're dating women... If you start dating her at age 24 and a half, she's probably gonna be okay, and if you have a couple of year relationship with her, she'll be fine as she goes into 25. But just know that as soon as a girl hits 25, on her 26th birthday, something short circuits based off of her hormones. So that's the first expiration date. Okay, the second expiration date doesn't have anything to do with her age, this has to do with how long she's been in the relationship. So I've seen this over and over, and I'm old enough now that I've had friends... Like there's a couple that I met and I don't even wanna say where they are, 'cause I don't want them to know specifically who I'm talking about, but I've had multiple friends where they're young, they get married, and then they decide because they're like the vibrant couple that's athletic and does a bunch of stuff they decide not to have kids, which is totally fine.
0:17:16.9 DK: And what's weird is it seems like the more intelligent people are, the less they wanna have kids in today's day and age, go figure. But there is a hormonal like primal thing that happens, and I've watched it happen, with multiple couples that I've seen get married that don't have kids. And what it is, is about two years into their relationship, even though their brain's telling them that they don't wanna have kids, their hormones and their Biology and Evolution is saying, I've been with this person for two years, and there is no pregnancy, something is wrong. And they just think they're growing apart, they start saying things like, I don't even know the other person anymore, I feel like he's changing, I'm getting bored, I'm just not thrilled anymore. And all that is that's fucking with them is their biology. Now, here's the thing, if you're watching this and you're in a relationship, and this is like you, you can overcome this with logic once you know what's going on, but it's difficult. So if you're looking for new people, just know that this happens. And by the way, this isn't just on the girls side. This is on the guy's side too, it happens both ways, where the people in the relationship say, Hey, we've been together a couple of years and there's no baby, something is wrong, and your evolutionary programming kicks in and says, I gotta get out of this relationship, and I gotta find someone else.
0:18:52.4 DK: So this is when one of them cheats on the other, because their biology is saying, If I cheat, maybe there'll be a baby. And the other part that's fucked up is if you get married and let's say at like a year and a half, pregnancy happens... So you're inside of that like two years before getting pregnant and everything's fine, what happens when that child is two years old, the whole cycle repeats again. So your biology, whether you're a guy or a girl, is sitting there and it's saying, if you are in a relationship for more than two years, and there is not a pregnancy, there's a problem, and if there is a pregnancy and then there isn't another one within two years, you gotta go out and you gotta find somebody else. So that's basically that drive to go fuck someone else after two years in a relationship. And like I said, I've watched this happen like clock work, again and again and again and again. Okay, so that's the second thing.
0:19:52.5 DK: The third expiration date with women, and this is the one that everybody knows is menopause. Which by the way, I don't understand the word menopause, that term doesn't make sense to me. It should just be called menostop, like it doesn't pause and start going later, let's level with the women and tell them how this works, this is fucking menostop, you are done. So the weirdness happens, isn't like right when they can't have a baby anymore, the weirdness happens as they start going into that. One of the most ridiculous things that I've seen because of this whole COVID-19 thing is, there were all these feminist women that bought into this waste away the best time in your life to start a family and go do the career thing, and then later on once your career is stable, then you can find a man and you can have a baby at the last minute, and then you can have it all. And the couple of things that never occurred to them, and this was true before the COVID-19 thing is, number one, the guys want young women. It doesn't matter how old the guy is, like, look at the story I told you with Hef, like Hef is going like, Yeah, 25 or under. So when you're like a 24-year-old girl, he wants to hook up with you, but when you're a 34-year-old girl, he's not more turned on because you've been in the business world for 10 years, he is less turned on because you're 10 years older.
0:21:40.4 DK: So this idea that they have, even before COVID-19, it didn't really make sense. The idea that guys would be just as interested later on, they're not... Because you're older. So as these women went out and they got their career in order, and then they decided... Like this one that I saw, that was ridiculous, her idea was give herself two years, like the last two years while she can still have kids, and that's when she's gonna find a guy. So she starts going into her last two years and she's like, Okay, I have my life in the way I want, now I'm ready to find a man, she starts looking for a man, realizes that it's not as easy as when she was younger, because it's the younger girls that are getting the attention now. And then on top of it, COVID-19 kicks in all these social restrictions, she can't go to a bar anymore, and she's fucking freaking out 'cause she's like, Oh, we gotta open the bars back up because I'm running out of time. I gotta get fucked and pregnant or like, I'm not gonna be able to do it.
0:22:47.0 DK: So the thing with the last part, the last expiration date is, as a guy, this one shouldn't really affect you because really, you shouldn't be dating girls that are over 25 because they start going a little nutty. And if you are still dating a girl that's now like 35, and now she's up against that hard wall of when she can't have a kid anymore, like you think she started getting weird, like Tomi Lahren at age 27, wait until baby hits 40. That's a fucking train wreck. So that's kind of your answer for the expiration dates in a relationship. The three expiration dates are in more of a technical way of looking at it again. And remember that a relationship with a woman isn't a technical thing, it's more of an art form. So go back and look at understanding women and how those emotional zones work, look at that video, look at The Hedonist's Guide, so you understand how to basically give her the crack she needs to keep her addicted to you, like a drug addict. And then just keep those three expiration dates in mind, and you take responsibility no matter what her age is, to keep her interested in you. And you don't cop out because things got difficult, like this is part of training, right? When things get difficult, you figure out how to get past it.
0:24:28.4 DK: But yeah, know that those are there. Ultimately, the best advice that I can give for the person that sent me the email is simply this, and this sounds terrible, but in practice and in hindsight, you'll see that it's very true: Every relationship is nothing more than practice for the next relationship. Every girl, even if it's not a relationship, like every girl you talk to even, or approach in any kind of a sexual way, every girl is nothing more than practice for the next one. And I know that sounds total dick-ish, but keep in mind that I'm not saying there who ended the relationship, you could be the nicest guy on the planet, and you wake up one morning and your wife has cheated on you, and that relationship is over. What does that mean? If she doesn't totally ruin you and turn you into some... Like turn you gay, as long as you're gonna go after women again, what are you gonna do when you start going after women again? You're gonna look at what you learned from the last relationship and that's gonna take you forward. So the reality, no matter who's fucking up or who's fucking who or who's ending it, the reality is that everyone is just practice for the next one.
0:25:56.4 DK: So don't let your heart get broken, don't get the oneitis, don't focus like a laser on one, just keep on having fun, that's the whole point of it. And as you have more fun, you learn more, and you'll see that when you've had sex with about 10 different women, you understand this and you relax and you have a lot more fun, and then the flood gates open. So hopefully that answers the question for the guy in India and hopefully everybody else learned a little bit from that, and I think that's about all I gotta say on that one...
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